AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE ARE ALL WINGING PARENTING.
I thought long and hard about blogging my transition to be a better parent. Trust me, we all have moments. We all have children who do not listen. We are all winging parenting. No one is ever really prepared to be a parent.
I am learning to be the best parent I can be. I am learning to be better because my child needs me. Laying on me and giggling is what I live for. Those are moments you can’t get back because we all know how fast children grow up.
Before long, they won’t want to lay on you. I remember the days where I thought I couldn’t make time for everything I needed to do. Between working, cooking, cleaning, and every day life. I remember telling my daughter, “I will play with you in a minute.”
That minute never came.
She used to get so upset even though she knew I was “busy.” Now she says, “okay, let me know when you are ready to play.” Her demeanor has changed in just a few months.
Why? Because now she can trust me when I say I will in a minute.
I replay the screaming mother in my head over and over. I mean what mother doesn’t yell or get frustrated? It’s hard because we all work so hard to be the best we can. We are all trying our best. I knew she would push my buttons to get her way or just being nice to play on my phone. Children are good at that. I just didn’t know what was in store next. When I say that, I mean as a parent. I didn’t know what to do to be a better parent.
Toddlers throw tantrums right? They just can’t control their emotions. They haven’t learned the right way. That’s normal. However, this is so much more than that.
I had a mother a few months ago tell me, “you have time to change it.”
She meant my daughter’s attitude because at that point I was at a lost. I won’t lie, we talked for hours but that one phrase stood out to me. The time it took to get her to do something like get ready for bed or homework. I thought wow, this age is rough because she didn’t want to listen. The frustration would sink in. I remember thinking, “I don’t understand why she just won’t listen.” She knows what I am saying and she knows what I mean. I thought she just did not care because most children want to do what they want.
I finally had a solution and I promise it took months. I take the time out of my day to play with her. Yes, between everything going on, I actually pick a time daily to play with my child. I started more praising. I would stop whatever I was doing to hear her story about absolutely nothing or to see her jump in the air to spin. Homework got easier, bed time got easier, asking her questions got easier. It was like life was getting much easier. All I could think was, it can’t be that easy? See, it did. Toys turned into activities, chores turned into money, and more playing time. She knows I will go outside and play with her. Half of the time I am exhausted from daily work or chores. However, I know how important it is for her.
Children are vulnerable and they can adapt to change so much faster than adults. It might have took months but the trust grew so much faster. My child who I thought just had the sassiest attitude was a child who wanted to be heard.
Are their bad days? Yes, every one has them. I have bad days, she has bad days, and my husband has bad days. You are allowed to be human. Do I still yell and get frustrated? Yes I do because I am human. I have learned to stop and think before I get frustrated. I have learned so much about myself to help improve my parenting. Just the other day she looked at me and said, “I am so glad you want to do more things with me.” Life is never too busy to take time out to play or do something fun.